The Ferrari Mentality

I know, I know. I’m so ridiculously behind here.  I do have some pretty good reasons, though, so I’m hoping you’ll cut me a little slack.

I jumped back here for two reasons.  First, shamelessly, is to promote the new book release.  Broadway Paperbacks just released Ex-Communication today (third book in the Ex-Heroes series).  It’s available at your local bookstore, Amazon, on the Kindle, at Audible.com... everywhere.  Check it out.

Second is to rant a bit about a phrase I see popping up again and again, usually to explain (or excuse) Games Workshop’s prices.  Because they’re really getting kind of crazy.  I originally started this page because I was a struggling writer who couldn’t afford to pay GW prices when I need to pay rent.  Well, paying the rent’s a lot easier now, but—as much as I love it—I’m still not sure I can afford how much this game costs.

  

Anyway, the phrase in question is “the Ferrari of miniatures games,” or some variant on it.  If you follow this hobby on the web (and you’re here, so I’m guessing you do), you’ve probably seen this idea expressed one way or another.  Simply put, Games Workshop feels like they’ve got the best products which carry a certain prestige and status to the owner, and that warrants the highest prices—much in the same way a Ferrari costs so much more than a Volkswagen or a Kia, despite having all the same basic parts made from all the same materials.

See, there’s one huge problem with this idea, though.  And it’s the one GW—and most of us—tend to overlook because it reflects on us.

Everyone knows what a Ferrari is.  Everyone knows what it’s worth.  Everyone knows it is a high point, if not the pinnacle, of automotive ownership, and almost half the people in the world own cars.

Let’s repeat that word, because it’s important.  Everyone.  Not just the girls at the club or the guys at the office.  If I drive a Ferrari through a village of huts in Africa or a six-building town in the Australian outback, people there are going to point at my car and go “Holy Crap!  A Ferrari!  Here!  Holy crap!”

           

A Ferrari is a status symbol because of this universal recognition.  That’s how being a status symbol works.  Something can’t be “the Ferrari of X” unless X is also something universally known and recognized.  You could have the Ferrari of shoes or refrigerators, but the Ferrari of mellonballers is just kind of silly (no matter how beautifully designed that mellonballer is).  Something just can’t be that kind of status symbol if 99% of the world doesn’t use it or holds it in a poor light.

For example... little toy soldiers.

If I try to impress the girls at the club with my pro-painted Dark Eldar models, I feel safe saying I’ll be going home alone that night.  If I bring up my phenomenal Demon Prince conversion during my performance review at the office, it probably won’t improve my chances for that promotion.  And if I show up in that African village or Australian town carrying an armload of Space Marines, odds are I’m going to learn lots of colorful local terms for “geek” and possibly also “weirdo,” “man-child,” and maybe even “loser.” 

I don’t say this to be cruel, just straight-forward.  All of us here are a lot of grown men and women who play with little toy soldiers.  The vast majority of the planet’s population does not see this as something to be incredibly proud of or as a huge plus in the personality/ life choices departments.  I can try to spin it anyway I like, but that’s the simple truth of things.  I’m okay with it (hell, I also like LEGOs and I write about superheroes fighting zombies for a living), but I’m also under no illusions about it.  We're a minority.

See, that’s why this whole Ferrari mentality (and business plan) doesn’t work.  People are willing to pay huge sums of money for a Ferrari because everyone, everywhere knows what owning a Ferrari means.  Not to sound crass, but people get sex out of owning Ferraris.  Yes, even today. 

And that’s never going to happen with little toy soldiers.  No matter how crisp the lines are on those highlights, owning a box full of Game Workshop Fire Warriors and Crisis Suits is never, ever going to be a status symbol.  Which is why this mentality—and pricing system—really can’t be applied to them.

The whole idea of “the Ferrari of little toy soldiers” is just... well, stupid.

So, in conclusion, please buy my books so that I can afford a box set or two of toy soldiers this year.

Or maybe even a Ferrari.

Plague Zombies

So, I’ve been insanely busy and done very, very little with Paperhammer or even just general Warhammer 40K stuff.  Those Ogryns were supposed to be done months ago, and I’d actually wanted to get back to basics and build a paperhammer tank.  To be honest, I really don’t even have time to post now, but I’m about to do some more shameless pandering and I figured I should at least make it worth your while...

My book, Ex-Patriots, was re-released by Broadway Books this week. Check it out.  Superheroes, zombies, mad scientists, super-soldiers... it’s got pretty much everything.  And a ton of people think it’s actually good.  You can even get it in audiobook form, which means you can listen to it while you’re building little toy soldiers and zombies.

Resident Evil 40,000

Hey, speaking of the shambling undead...

This is an easy little tip for zombies.  I use it for my plague zombies in 40K, but it would work fine for Fantasy zombies, too.  I started my plague zombie collection way back during the Eye of Terror campaign.  Under the current rules (with Typhus) I’ve got about four solid squads of them, plus one little group of zombie specialists who I just set loose as distractions.  To help keep them straight when they’re in big mobs, I have zombified Catachans, zombified Asgardian Rangers, the citizens of Hive Romero led by the Seven Dwarves of Nurgle, and the Tanith Last and Final.

The zombie Tanith are what sparked this post.  I think it’s safe to say one of the defining elements of the Tanith, visually, are their camo-cloaks.  Now, one of the standard zombies has a little bit of a shredded cape on his back, but it’s really short and doesn’t really sell the big, sweeping cloaks the First and Only are described as having.

So, here’s an easy way to expand them a bit.

Get any little bit of thin plastic.  I used some 1/4” strips I already had, but this would work with just about anything.  Cut up some blister packs, plastic signs, soda bottles, plastic jars... whatever.

However you get it, cut some pieces that are about 1/4” by 3/4” long.  The length doesn’t have to be exact, and as you go along you may try some different lengths for variety.  Once you have your pieces, cut them diagonally, corner to corner.

Take these long, thin triangles and cut up the short end.  You’re trying to make them look a bit frayed.  I usually make three or four length-wise swipes with my knife, then maybe hit it from the end to make the gouges stand out.

There are two ways to glue them on.  The simplest way is just glue them to each side.  The thin end goes at the top, and I try to place them so they seem to flow naturally off the shoulders.

Apologies, by the way, for all the glare from the white plastic.  It's rough with my setup to get a good balance between the white and the light gray.

For variety, on some of them I glue one of the triangles in from the edge a bit.  This makes them look like big wrinkles or folds in the material.  When I do this, I sand the thin end down a bit so it flows up into the top of the cloak better.

And that’s it.  Bigger zombie cloaks just like that.  A green base with a few colors on top of it and I’ve got a really distinct group of the undead.

I'm going to be at a couple of horror conventions over the next few weekends, but starting next month, I swear... the Ogryns get some ripper guns, some urban scenery, and a way to make very cheap and distinctive Stormtroopers.

Yet Another Shameless Bit of Pandering...

 Hullo, all.

I’d really hoped to get the second half of the Ogres to Ogryns post up, well, about three weeks ago.  Then I’d hoped to get up a half-assed version that just went over how I built the weapons for my first set of conversions, the ones I use in my Penal Legion army.  As you probably noticed, neither version of these events happened.

I’ve just been swamped with final edits on the third book in the Ex series.  Plus going over layouts for the second book.  And tons and tons of publicity stuff for the first book, Ex-Heroes.  It’s in stores everywhere starting... well, today.

So, for the moment, please check out that big link down there on the right side, just past the end of this post.  And then, I promise, in the weeks to come you’ll see a post on how to build a ripper gun for these Ogryns, a new paperhammer tank, and zombies of both the undead and mechanical variety.  Plus a very big, very Orky unit for Apocalypse that I'm building with Marcus from Atomic Warlords.

But, in the meantime, the folks at Random House would be very happy if you bought the first book in the series...